letter/let her

I wish I was lame
because this distance is strange
and I was not bound to return,
because what for me waits
is a lot to explain
and I will say these words
as they come

I’m coming back
but please don’t expect
that I’m coming to you
and though i might
feign to sooth your disdain
of a heart thats cold and austere

so the exile I tailed
you know it suits me well
and allows me to mediate
between jasper and jade
and decisions I’ve made
that regressed to feeling it out

for olive and dove
or sing songy love
that could lead you all to inveigh
and all that i sought
in sinuous thought has come
to caution abound

so the price that I’ll pay
is to be viewed as lame
and all the titles therein
so until then
I will carefully plan
my return and the consequence
of coming back
when no one expects
that I’m coming to them